As a recently late-diagnosed person with ADHD, I know on a personal level how difficult it can be to enter into therapy, especially with a counsellor that doesn’t understand the nuance of ADHD. I have since found a great therapist for me, but it took a lot of trial and error to get there.
For all these years I have been searching for something or someone to validate me, to help me to see that there was a reason for my struggles that wasn’t just me being ‘flawed’ in some way. Although I have worked with clients since 2012, have set up a successful counselling practice, co-founded a successful counselling college and created a counselling podcast I always felt I was just different to other people; I struggled with things that seemed so easy for others and this has left me questioning myself for pretty much my whole life.
I worked hard over the years to put lots of systems in place to help ease my struggles, but ultimately in April 2025 I got my true answer; I have ADHD; I am different, not flawed! This new knowledge of myself was mixed with grief, sadness, shock and eventually validation. I could finally stop masking (well maybe not stop but certainly reduce), I could continue to build ADHD friendly ways to cope into my life to help me to manage in a way that was even better and above all I could be much kinder to myself.
Now, as a counsellor, I am wary of sharing too much about my road to ADHD diagnosis here as counselling and supervision is about my clients and supervisees, not me; but one thing is for sure, when I think about ADHD I get it on a much deeper level. I understand the challenges, I understand the strengths and I will never refer to it as a ‘superpower’. It gives me the ability to genuinely focus deeply on the person in front of me with deep empathy whether they are neurodivergent or neurotypical and I am so grateful for that.
So, why am I telling you all of this? Well for me I wanted to acknowledge that if you have ADHD and are looking for some counselling, it seems well worth it to me to find someone who really does understand the nuance behind ADHD and of course this can be learnt by a great neuro-affirming neurotypical therapist, but can it truly be felt by them if they don’t have lived experience of what it is like to try and fit into a world not set up for them?
As a counsellor with ADHD, I of course went down the inevitable hyper-focus rabbit hole of learning deeply about ADHD, how it presents, how the ADHD brain works and the challenges experienced around issues such as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Now when I work with fellow ADHD people I feel we connect on a level that is a true knowing that we are finding our tribe and for me this is a gift. My extra study and learning was so helpful professionally, but it was also deeply personal learning for me.
So, in a nutshell, if you have ADHD and need some support, please feel free to get in touch about my counselling services. I won’t profess to assume that your ADHD is the same as mine as we are all different, but I want to see you; I want to understand all that you struggle with and celebrate those things that set you apart from others. You are not broken – you just need some time and space to understand yourself and that is OK.
This article was written by experienced counsellor and supervisor Becky Whittaker, based in Exeter and all over the UK via Zoom.