So, let me set the scene and see if this resonates with you. You have been dealing with stuff recently and have been struggling to cope with day-to-day life in the way you have been able to in the past. Things are feeling overwhelming, you have felt more anxious than normal or maybe you are struggling to make decisions and find any direction for the future. You have been considering contacting a counsellor but then it hits you; the sheer level of uncertainty, nervousness and perhaps fear stops you in your tracks. I am here to let you know that this is completely normal and to talk some more about how to overcome this.
If you think about it, when you think about telling a complete stranger your deepest darkest thoughts it is natural for this to feel daunting, anxiety provoking and scary, especially if you are a person that rarely speaks about yourself to others or worries about burdening people with your troubles, this is where the unique therapeutic relationship that counselling provides can be super helpful.
Counselling is not like any other relationship you will ever have in your life, as counsellors we are not here to judge, we meet clients with empathy and understanding and above all, we know how hard it is to the sit in the clients’ chair, especially at the beginning.
So, what does all of this mean in reality? It means that finding the right person is crucial, we can’t be all things to all people, so finding your person is going to be an integral part of this process. Contact counsellors that offer a no obligation meeting free of charge. The relationship is so important you might have to contact more than one counsellor to find the right ingredients for you to feel comfortable, please remember you don’t have to tell the counsellor everything on the first meeting but give them a flavour (I must be hungry with all of these food references!) of what you are hoping that therapy can help you with. Be prepared to let the counsellor know if you have had any other counselling in the past. The first meeting is as much for you to see if you think you can work with the counsellor as it is for them to see if they have the right experience, skillset and training to offer what you need, if they don’t they can usually point you in the right direction of someone that does.
It will feel strange at first, as I said it isn’t natural for clients to tell everything to a stranger, but remember, you won’t be strangers for long, the unique way that counsellors build strong and lasting therapeutic relationships may surprise you, we want to help, we want to understand and we want to provide a non-judgement ear for our clients. We are not about offering advice as you can honestly get that from any friend of family member for free, we want to walk alongside you in whatever you are struggling with and help you to find your own way through.
So, in a nutshell, the key takeaway that I hope you have held onto from reading my ramblings in this article is that it is natural to be nervous, but, once you make a start it will get easier; you can do it, just give yourself permission to take things at your pace – you don’t have to say it all right away, take your time.
Finding a counsellor who is suitably qualified is important, this is where the Counselling Directory provides an extensive list of all types of counsellors who are vetted to ensure they are qualified, are a member of a professional body and have insurance.
This article was written by experienced counsellor and supervisor Becky Whittaker, based in Exeter, Devon and online UK wide via Zoom, please feel free to reach out if you are looking for counselling or supervision, I am here to help.